Hello Dear Readers 🙂
I’ve been very quiet online lately, not really blogging much and only communicating privately with friends etc online, staying very focused inwardly on my own personal progress and evolution and healing. In this “soul searching” that’s been occurring within myself totally naturally and organic like, I’ve gotten a lot of answers as well as a lot of questions. I’ve been thinking about this particular topic very heavily the past few days and I think it’s well worth the share to share with all of you. Maybe I can give you all a different perspective on what spiritual wounds are all about and what it takes to heal from things on a spiritual level.
For me, in order to understand things I like to use comparisons and scenarios in my head. Something that’s relatable and easy to grasp and understand.
As a nurse I realize the dedication and focus it takes to heal from a physical wound. Let’s say hypothetically that a person ran me over with their car. In this action I’m wounded and my ability to use my legs and walk was affected by this action by this person. My legs physically and structurally are fine, but it takes me years of physical therapy and training to regain the skill that came so naturally to me before because of a neurological issue in the brain, in a way setting me back in that sense to the beginning and I would have to start all over. Again, we’re talking HYPOTHETICAL here.
In this scenario, I would have to make an active decision to do the work for myself to heal. I would have to go to physical therapy, occupational therapy etc to regain the strength and skill I had before this scenario to get back to where I was. There are many people that go that road. There’s also the other road, the seemingly easier one, that instead of focusing on how I’m going to heal, focuses on why my ability to walk was taken away in the first place. SO many people go that route, and instead of going in the “action” stage they become stuck in the “blame” and “question” and “why me” stage. They think they’re doing themselves justice but really, in all reality they’re just treading water and wasting their own time trying to ask themselves these questions. Regardless of the answers to these things the bottom line is the same: You need to do the work if you want to get back to your original state before you were “interfered” with. That truth is the same regardless of the reason why what happened to you happened in the first place. You’re LETTING THEM WIN, by focusing on those things instead of focusing on your healing. Your focus needs to be INWARD, like a brilliant light of truth within yourself.
So, with this same scenario in mind, is it not safe to say that SPIRITUAL wounds that affect us in the same devastating way doesn’t take the same amount of dedication, will power, focus, tenacity and strength to heal from? Is it not essentially the SAME THING, in my case especially, walking down the road not hurting anyone and someone comes up and hypothetically hits me with their car? Is what I’m trying to heal from spiritually, at the root of it the same thing?
Let’s say you are working with a child that comes from an abusive home, whether it was for an extended period of time or not. At SOME point in this child’s life, things went against them in the worst way possible. Maybe they were physically abused, sexually abused, mentally/emotionally abused, maybe all of the above. When these things happen to anyone it’s horrible, but when it happens to a child it’s inconceivable. It’s beyond my ability to comprehend. And I can’t help but wonder so many times when I look at the people who carry out these horrible acts against these innocent children, how did they get from being a child themselves to having so much evil within them. Within their essence, their very soul at the root of it. Are people SO disconnected to the spiritual world anymore, and to God and the angels, and their own inner child and their twin soul and their own heart that these things not only are common, but statistically happen something like every 11 minutes of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month and of every year, like clock work. And that’s just the things that are reported. Think about what the numbers would look like if you could somehow count in the unreported ones. Maybe something like every 30 seconds or so instead of every 11 minutes. It’s beyond my capacity to understand such cruelty in the world. Absolutely mind boggling.
As a child, we’re innately connected to the spirit world. We don’t have the issues that adults do at that point in our lives. Adults THINK and are UNSURE, children FEEL and KNOW. I wouldn’t wish what I went through on my worst enemy… But regardless of how horrible it was, it was the biggest lesson of my life so far. And I was taught that lesson at such a very young age. It literally put a halt in a way, a stop on my essence for YEARS, or at least me being connected to it…. on my spiritual identity and what made me me, to my conscious mind anyway before I even had the chance to learn who I really was in this life. It hasn’t been until recently like I said, the passed 7 to 8 months that I’m really starting to learn who I am and what makes me me. But, the major lesson that I learned through all of this was who I am SPIRITUALLY. I’m not talking about specifics or anything, I’m talking about my very essence of my soul. Considering what I went through, I could’ve so easily let the light of my soul become dimmer and dimmer and dimmer. And don’t get me wrong, it was always there but after what happened was over it was flickering for years. Some days it was on, other days I was so very disconnected to the world (I CHOSE to do that, it was too painful sometimes to connect) that I was literally just walking around blank. There’s a lot from that time in my life that’s very fuzzy, I honestly don’t remember a lot of it after it was all exposed and over.
The bottom line is this: The more POTENTIAL you have as a child to be spiritually powerful and a threat to the evil of the world, the more the evil of the world will try and break you before you have a chance to realize your potential. If you’re “unreachable” meaning it can’t control you directly, or you’re not open to doing evil things and are more in tune with the positive, then it will try and use OTHER PEOPLE around you, other things to try and control you and interfere with your life.
The only reason why I’m about to divulge this information is to HELP YOU all, to understand how these things actually work and how so many people fall into these traps.
My main issue that I always had when I tried to deal with the pain of what I went through was I always went inwards towards myself. I never took it out on anybody else, I never wanted to hurt anybody. I always doled the worst punishment to me and me alone.
At 16 years old I was severely depressed because of everything that had transpired years prior that I was referring to above. Nobody knew it though. This was 8 years after my grandfather passed, 5 years after all of this ended that I’m referring to. I was a junior in high school. I was working full time at a local ice cream shop in my hometown and I came home from work one night and walked into my bathroom. I was looking in the mirror, but there was NO life behind my eyes. I’ve never in my life had this experience. Never before this and never again after this happened either. I wanted to be free of everything essentially… I wanted to be with my grandfather again. I wanted the pain of everything to stop. I didn’t understand at that point what I had to do to get there. So I swallowed 15 Tylenol in a desperate attempt to take my own life. But of course, if it’s not your time to go it’s not your time. And all it did was made me vomit for 4 hours straight.
And don’t get me wrong…. I thank God EVERY DAY that I was unsuccessful. I have too much to give to the world, too much love in my heart and in my soul to have something like that happen and have things end in that way. The only reason why I’m telling you all this is so you understand how DEEPLY my spirit, my very soul was damaged for years because of what happened to me.
So, keeping up with that same scenario and comparing this to a physical wound, I’ve had to put many many years of work in trying to find my “spiritual ability to walk” again. I had so much to bounce back from. What I’ve been working on healing weakened me spiritually to the point where I almost left the planet entirely, literally, and it wasn’t until the passed 7 to 8 months that I was ready to make a change within myself and heal these things. In all honesty I felt for many many years like the universe turned its’ back on me, the spiritual world especially, and so there was no point in allowing myself to remain connected spiritually to anything. I was so severely blocked in every way for the passed 20 years of my life that I didn’t even understand where my emotions and everything were coming from. I just thought that “this is how it’s going to be” for my whole life.
I thought it was difficult for me back then being disconnected to everything. But it’s SO much harder being connected to everything again spiritually because I’m relearning everything that I knew back then before I was interfered with and almost wiped out completely. You see what I mean? Believe me when I say, it takes the SAME amount of strength to heal from these things as it does a physical wound. It’s a daily routine and a daily practice to STAY POSITIVE and FOCUSED on my healing. I owe it to myself. It is a spiritual right that we all have that God gives us, to be free of these things.
There’s SO much in my life to be thankful for. And I’m constantly supported and surrounded by positive energy and love, from both the spirit world and in an Earthly way. What’s even more amazing is that I’m aware of it now. I’m truly blessed and I thank God every single day for the strength to get through all of this and finally be at the point of being ready to HEAL and REUNITE with myself. With what makes me me.
Things are evolving just the way they should be 🙂
Believe me when I tell you, there is A LOT more to come. 😉
I’m sending you all major LOVE and LIGHT and HEALING FOCUS….
I need to get some rest now… I hope you all have a wonderful day 🙂