Tonight I bring you a very special article about coming into your own soul power and magic and bring to you my own personal journey of healing, awakening, enlightenment and being TRUE to myself so far.
The past few days have been extremely hard for me and today I finally started to feel like myself again and a bit grounded as well finally, because I didn’t for the last few days. I felt for days like I was constantly being shaken and every time I felt like I was on steady ground or I would begin to calm down internally something would happen to knock me right off my feet again and rattle things up. I’m not saying this to be anything but totally honest and straight forward, for the sake of you all and to show you the raw truth of what it takes to stay strong when on a journey of healing and self actualization. I’m not going to lie to you, there are days when I completely feel totally defeated and the wind is literally knocked out of me and I feel my soul and body starting to weaken from the extreme stress. It was difficult for me to even act normal in some cases because the stress was so intensely riding on my back. But when I rebound and things start to settle again, I feel totally different than before the rough patch. It’s very hard to explain, even for me, and I’ve always been very good at putting things into a way that most people can easily understand, especially when it comes to my thoughts and emotions. But this has been totally different and it’s something I’m totally not used to. It’s because I’ve “leveled up” in my healing I feel, and so I’m on a different playing field now in my own personal journey.
I thought, to be honest, that being that I didn’t have any of these issues since being back in my hometown since abruptly leaving my entire life and moving across the country that I was safe from these things. I said to myself “wow, maybe the worst is over”. And while these struggles are a beautiful thing when looking at them in hindsight, as it’s ALWAYS 20/20, going through these issues is another story entirely. You don’t get to the “beautiful” point of view until the struggle is over. It all started when I had 2 different dreams 2 nights in a row, both relating to each other. I’d rather not disclose what these dreams were as the content of the dreams themselves are incredibly personal, and while I disclose a LOT of personal data and infos publicly I’d rather keep these to myself. The point is, given my accuracy with dreams before and my dreams coming to fruition MANY times I woke up in an absolute panic. It took me almost half the day that day to calm down fully from having these dreams and not being sure if they were just a psychological dream or a spiritual communication. Each person is individual, but for me I can always tell the difference but in this case I wasn’t totally sure. That uncertainty was what caused the rough patch to begin with.
But then like I said, today I felt more like myself and stronger than any other point since beginning this journey. That’s when it clicked for me when I woke up this morning and that inner anxiety was gone and was replaced with a feeling of inner calmness and strength: the anxiety is the sign of progressing growth and evolution. There are always lots of things that come into play and you can’t ever pinpoint ONE cause for these things, as it’s always a series of factors. The last few days I’ve had a few anxiety/panic attacks, to the point of hyperventilating sometimes, and it’s terrifying when that happens and you can’t control it. That’s a learning process as well, learning how to stay in your centre and calm yourself when these things crop up from deep within you. That’s where your holistic healing techniques come in, such as meditation, yoga, going to the chiropractor or acupuncturist, singing, dancing, etc. And yes, I have been doing ALL of these things since beginning this journey, but I’ve been doing it nonstop the passed few days. Actually, because of the extreme stress the last 4 to 5 months, it’s starting to show physically in me now. I’ve got a subluxation in my neck and it causes migraines and sometimes in extreme cases neurological symptoms. I also daily have extreme pain between my shoulder blades. I was prescribed Fioricet for my migraines because they were so debilitating, and since going to the chiropractor every week to get aligned (about a month now) I’ve had ONE migraine and haven’t had a refill on my medication for a month, and needed to take Tylenol once for a migraine. It’s totally incredible. What’s very interesting though is that before this journey grew legs and began fully my heart and throat chakras were totally blocked. I’m an EXTREMELY visual person and never have any trouble seeing what’s being said to me, and I’m so visual to the point where I can be looking at somebody talking but in my mind if I’m thinking about something else, I’ll be seeing it in my mind’s eye. So technically I’ll be seeing two things at once with two different sets of eyes that are a part of two different bodies simultaneously: my physical eyes and then my spiritual eyes which are a part of my spiritual body. I’ve always had this ability but I didn’t understand until recently what it was I was actually doing when that would happen, and I thought that everyone had this ability. I didn’t think that it was anything special or unique. It wasn’t until recently, when suddenly channeling a poem from spirit that I fully understood what was happening behind the scenes when that would happen. I realized it because it happened suddenly, but also I not only heard the words as they were coming through but SAW the words visually as well, swirling around in my mind’s eye almost stuck in a loop kind of motion.
So, needless to say, that’s how I knew my heart and throat chakras were blocked, because of this ability I’ve always had. The chakras are at the front AND back of your body:
It’s interesting that my main physical issues currently are at the back aspect of the chakras that were totally blocked. When trying to meditate over them that day I didn’t have these physical issues like I do now. And the first time I got aligned and he addressed the issue in my neck I had a very intense emotional reaction. It was like something was jammed up spiritually and because he aligned me it cleared the pathway and was released.
We each have our own form of expression, our own way of allowing our soul to speak through us and we just become the channel for our spiritual expressions and our oversoul, and the Universe itself. For me personally, I’ve always wrote poetry, I sometimes paint, I dance and I sing. About a week ago I put on my pointe shoes that I got from my mother when coming home. I haven’t put those shoes on since I was 17 years old. Just going up into a toe stand I was totally feeling better and more myself. The ME that was pushed down for the passed (almost) decade and a half. Granted, this was before the rough patch I just recently experienced, but I looked at this photo so many times in the past few days, tuning in to the energy behind it. MY energy.
The point is, these struggles always have a ROOT and a source. You may not always be able to tell what the root is initially, and that’s okay. Everything will be revealed to you in time. My own magic is very much in the evolution and growth phase but each and everyday it becomes clearer and clearer. I’ve been told recently many times that I’ve got “healing hands”, and that my presence alone makes others feel better. I’m a nurse and LOVE and PROTECTION of people who are in need is my career, my bread and butter and my life. Working as a nurse is honestly therapeutic to me, fixing and healing other’s pain. I thank God every single day for allowing me to do something I love as much as I love this line of work and I feel like I was absolutely 100% made for it, and I totally count it as one of my biggest blessings 🙂
I’m gradually coming into my OWN, through getting in touch with my own inner child and becoming my whole self by returning to the old me. I’m being true to MYSELF everyday, and allowing my personal spiritual truth to come out. The inner child is the key for everyone to be whole in their entirety. The trick is though, if you’ve got things to heal from your childhood to maintain the communication with the inner child in a POSITIVE way. Allow BOTH aspects of your consciousness to heal.
I have to be up early for work, so I’m going to leave you all with this section of lyrics from Disney’s “Frozen” movie “Let It Go”. I think it completely explains my feelings on this whole process and my own individual journey perfectly:
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me,
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry
Here I stand
And here I’ll stay
Let the storm rage on
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back, the past is in the past